I am not a coffee drinker.

I usually drink tea.

My preferences are for juicy juice drinks; clever plays on fruit purees and non-alcoholic liquids like herbal teas, H2O and perhaps nut milks. These are great.

Lately though, I’ve been deciding to get a drink. Something: coffee-based. …You know, to see if coffee has a place in my life….in my taste palette.

The answer has always been no…since my first foray into the cult favorite of an ‘Irish coffee’; I believe I was 15 perhaps….maybe younger. I’d been wanting one of those drinks with whipped cream on top for awhile and every time I’d ask my Mom for one, she’d always said ‘no’. I didn’t know why and I was very upset.

…Then one day she didn’t say ‘no’ and there I was with an ‘Irish coffee’; whipped and everything. I sipped the drink. “YUCK” what was that? Surely it was dirt I was consuming. I took a moment and tried again. I’d already singed my tongue, but here I went….NO. It was decidedly dirt and the poor whipped cream my only friend. My Mom observed and with a raised eyebrow said ‘see? I knew you wouldn’t like it.’ She didn’t want to waste the money. I knew. However she also said this is too grown and isn’t really you.

She was right.

Coffee is not for me. It still tastes like dirt. I’ve tried to give it a chance like an ugly outcast and it continues to fail. It’s so clearly a drug. I took this cup I bought today #buyersremorse and tried to finish it like I did all those years ago at Fairlane in Dearborn Michigan. Ugh what a fucking waste of money.

What’s different this time? Nothing except the clarity that it’s totally a drug. You really shouldn’t consume so much of it. I bought a regular, vanilla bean cold brew with coconut milk and really it should be perhaps 1/2 a cup over a cup filled with ice: the rest just coconut milk. You could really just get by using this cold brew and as a ‘shot’ you add to iced milk into their so called large size. The less you have the better. If you’ve been consuming caffeine you can’t really tell. My system is pretty clean considering I used to consume so much sugar and caffeine (soda pop) when I was younger: with a clean system you can tell when you’ve ‘junked it’. I don’t want to be cruel to coffee bean and tea leaf, one of my favorite cafes, but you’ve got to be honest when you get this amount of serving of coffee. It’s in my opinion too much drug.

I was originally going to write this piece and reference MedMen as this is what came to me after my first sips of the vanilla bean cold brew tea. I couldn’t believe people drink this and then continue going. It’s mind boggling.

I’ve been trained in western herbalism and when I come to something like this I must be a bit honest. Use wise judgment when it comes to coffee consumption: it’s great and every one is different, but know your line. Can you and should you? That’s all you really need to ask yourself. This stuff I bought I would use to cook with; in small quantities for a ‘taste’ such that you might have an interesting marinade or perhaps a small caramelized sauce for an ice cream, but a glass? No.

I treat alcohol the same way. I love how it smells, but when I buy it’s for cooking only. A rare risotto. Like it’s Thanksgiving and now I’m making a risotto. Let me get some wine.

I could almost go any where with this piece from here. Do I recommend no more coffee? Isn’t this just like no more coffee for students? How is this any different from the engineer’s Mountain Dew or Jolt? It’s not. You have to know when it’s ok. Know when you need to stop consuming colas and coffees. They all have caffeine just like the black, green, and white teas. I mainly go for herbals and then I try the cold brew teas and get some caffeine there maybe, but the amounts are much less than say this vanilla bean coffee latte.

My honest review is that is a drug drink.

Does this mean I’m accusing Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf of being drug dealers? Not really. Everyone can sell and buy coffee and tea. I just think that wise shopping should be encouraged such that folks know what they are buying just as if they were going to MedMen.

I do not endorse MedMen and I do not endorse the legalization of cannabis.

Cannabis is a straight up abused affair. When second hand smoke is addressed here, I’m sure hell will have frozen over because it really hasn’t been addressed with tobacco reasonably. I do not endorse smoking tobacco at all. Second hand smoke is horrible and I can’t believe cannabis has been legalized especially when there are more issues from the inhalation of second hand smoke from a plant that is known to have devastating effects across the board. Do I want to get high? No. Do I want to get second hand high from your second hand smoke? No. Think about it. Get rid of it.

When society becomes intelligent enough to handle such products then I will happily be able to live clean without the interference of these narcotics or consumables with narcotic-like effects from those that choose such products.

Second hand smoke is dangerous.

That coffee latte was no joke neither.